>

Going to the dogs. Yes, I’m serious.

Would you believe that the CIA employs dogs?

Would you believe that the CIA has a K-9 Hall of Fame?

Would you believe that it’s online?

Would you believe that the dogs actually give interviews?

You had better believe it, because here’s the link:

https://www.cia.gov/kids-page/k-5th-grade/the-cia-k-9-corps/k-9-hall-of-fame.html

You can’t make this stuff up.

Here is the CIA-posted interview of one of those spy dogs, Bonja:

.

“Hi, my name is Bonja. I am a female German shepherd. I was born in Germany on Jan. 11, 2001. I came to the United States to become an Explosive Detection K-9.

“When I first started working with Officer Jason, I didn’t understand why I had to find explosives to get my toy. I was very upset because I used to play with my toys all the time. After a few weeks of training, I learned that I needed to find an explosive smell to get my toy. It was like playing a game. When I’m working and I sit, Officer Jason knows I found an explosive. After I sit, I give him ‘the look.’ After a long day, I go home with Officer Jason where we relax.

“At home, I like to play with my sister Reilly, who is a Beagle. We love to play together. I also like to roam around the house and gather up all my toys and put them in a pile. I love to play ball and tug-of-war. I also have a neighbor dog, Ranger, who I like to play with. When I go outside to play, Ranger and I like to race near the fence to see who is faster.

“Officer Jason is married and has two children, who I love to protect. When we eat dinner, I like to eat the crumbs that the kids drop on the floor. My mother is very nice. Sometimes she lets me test what the kids are having for dinner (but don’t tell Officer Jason because I am on a strict diet). When it’s bedtime, I like to sleep at the top of the stairs where I can keep one eye on the front door to make sure my family is safe.”

Okay, a German shepherd born in (where else?) Germany. Joined the CIA.

Yes, foreigners can work for the CIA.

I expect that quite a few foreigners work for the CIA.

But what is this about having a sister who is a Beagle? Interesting parents.

Here is another CIA-posted interview, of Harrington:

.

“Hello, my name is Harrington. I am a chocolate Lab. I was born on April 24, 2006, in a prison in New York. A group of prisoners raised me in a program called Puppies Behind Bars. In the program, I learned how to behave, how to search for my toys, how to sit, and lay down.

“When I was 10 months old, I was picked to come to the CIA to be a member of the K-9 unit. When I first met my partner, K-9 Officer Paul, we hit it off from the start. Training to find explosives was a lot like finding my toy. When I find it, I sit. The training started out simple and got harder and harder as the training went on.

“When I first went home with my partner, I got to meet my new family and some new friends. The first friend I met was Maggie; she used to work with Officer Paul. Then I met his two cats, Smokie and Jerry. They swat at my tail and ignore me most of the time. Then I met my Officer Paul’s wife and his two sons.

“I love to be at home with my family. I play hide and seek with the boys or with Maggie. And every now and then, if I am good, my mom will give me and Maggie treats, so I always keep an eye on her.

“What we do is very important. If you see us working, ask our human partners if it’s OK before you come pet us and say hi.”

Uh huh. Born in a prison and raised by convicts, huh? And now you work for the CIA?

Yeah! — you betcha I’ll ask first before I pet you!

Bonja & Harrington.

Sounds like a pistol that James Bond would carry.

“Now pay attention, 007. Hand over your Smith & Wesson and I’ll replace it with this Bonja & Harrington.”

“Q, must you always bark orders?”

“007, I’m not impressed by your juvenile attempts to pun your semantics. And I’m dog tired.”

Groan.

Incidentally, Bonja and Harrington have both retired. But you can still find their biographies, online, in the CIA’s K-9 Hall of Fame. Plus links to the Agency’s current canine cadre.

Enjoy!

Respectfully (because all my readers deserve respect),

Reginald Dipwipple

Secret Agent Extraordinaire

.